I’m feeling better, or at least I think I am. And that terrifies me because it might just be all in my head and it’ll all come falling down again. I don’t want this to be just pretend. I need it to be real because I’m getting tired of trying.
Being the person who I was is not that easy anymore. I made myself act so happy that I actually became that person I’ve always wanted to be. But right now I’m too worn out and exhausted, I can’t pretend anymore and now I’m terrified I
won’t can’t go back and that I’ll be just this pale shade of who I was. I know right now I’m not quite myself nowadays but as it were, I don’t even know who I am anymore. Or, as I’ve come to realise, whether I ever even knew who I was. I need to find myself again. I want that fire back.